He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
