trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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