But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
