He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
