She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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