We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
