my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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