WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
