Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
