seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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