His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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