this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
