Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
