I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
