Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
