well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
