I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
