pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Is Oprah even human
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
