if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
