just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
