i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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