Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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