If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
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