i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
My balls are so social today.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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