false alarm. still invincible.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
