eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
