Your tits are I can't wait for
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
do herpes really smell.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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