He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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