so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
