Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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