how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
