This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
