The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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