that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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