Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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