Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
