My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
