it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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