Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
