talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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