Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
