You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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