Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
