It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
