Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
