...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
