Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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