he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
