Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
