We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
