Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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