Taylor Swift is so right about you.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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